God has a way of tapping you on the shoulder at times when you least expect it. In June of 2009, I received in the mail a letter from someone I have never met or talked to. I was taken a back when I saw this letter from someone in Hays Kansas. When I opened it, it was as if God was tapping me on the shoulder as a reminder of the pack I had made with him so many many years ago. This letter was from one of Gods angels here on earth named Arlene. As I began to read this letter, it brought tears to my eyes as it brought memories back of a time in my past. You see Arlene had a similar experience to what I had gone through all those many years ago. Here is a copy of the letter I received from her.

July 3, 2009

I am not sure if you are the right person that I am trying to locate after so many years have past.

I am Arlene from Hays. Kansas. Just recently I have remodeled my home and was going through a lot of cards that I have kept all these years from when my husband was in an accident n 1963 and was killed instantly. I came across a card that I received with this very thoughtful note from a young man by the name of Gerald E. Alflen who had been in an accident near Smith Center, Kansas in June of 1963, which had taken the life of his wife and young daughter. At the time he was a patient in St. Anthony's Hospital in Hays, as was my brother, Paul who was the driver of the vehicle that claimed the life of my husband Irvin.

At the time of Irvin's death we had one son 10 months old and another son was born a month later. We never know what will be handed out to us and life can take a turn in a split second.

If you are the person I am looking for and want to respond, I would be very interested in knowing how your life was affected after experiencing such a tragedy at a young age.

I am enclosing a copy of the note that I received back in August of 1963.

Sincerely,

Arlene

Dear Arlene

In this great hour of Sorrow keep in mind the Lord will help you. I know what you are going through. I was in an accident last June which took the lives of my wife and little girl 10 months old. I have been in the hospital ever since. It is real hard to understand why these things happen . Someday we can go to meet our loved ones on the other side.

I know you don't know me but I wanted to write you because Sorrow is hard to take. Your brother is on the same floor as I am.

No words can explain the sorrow I know you are going through.

With Sympathy

Gerald E Alflen

I was amazed at what I had just read and had many questions in my mind for Arlene. So I sent her a letter back with wonderment of how she could have found me after all these years and only having this note to go by. Here is a copy of that letter to her.

Dear Arlene

Hi, Yes I am Gerald Alflen that you are looking for. It was nice of you to contact me and send me a copy of the note I sent to you way back then. A lot has happened since then and I will try to tell you about my life after that time we both went through a tragedy. I hope I don't get to long winded for you but will start back at the beginning. This is what I just wrote in my Blog a few weeks ago.

We boarded the train for home and settled in learning to sleep to the clickty clack of the train track. We arrived in Karney Neb. late in the evening and when we went to get our car, that we had left with a friend from Osborne, they tried to get us to stay the night but I told them that I had to be at work the next morning. So we set off around 10:00 PM on the 100 mile trip home.

We went through Smith Center Kansas which was about 20 miles from home. I had been having trouble falling asleep at the wheel but though I could make it home. It was around 1:00 in the morning and Ruth and Valerie were both asleep. I guess I was asleep too because I woke up to Ruth yelling "Look Out" then there was this big crunch and I was knock out and didn't even know what I had hit until I came too later. I didn't feel anything yet but as I came too I yelled for Ruth and Valerie. I could see the stars and hear the popping of metal. I tried to stand up and found out that my leg wouldn't hold me and that I didn't have any control of it. I took the weight off of it and stood on my other leg that wasn't broken. I then realized that I had hit a bridge and the car went across a creek bed landed on its top smashing the top down to the seats and then landing back on the wheels. I was standing in the car up through where the windshield used to be. I tried to get out of the car but my leg wouldn't come out as my femur was broken. I had to lift my leg out of the car and tumbled down to the ground. I was still looking for Ruth and Valerie when to my horror there was Ruth under the car all except her feet. I lost it and tried to pull her out, but to no avail as she was gone. Then I saw the lifeless body of Valerie about 10 feet from the car and she had a big gash in her head. By then I started to feel some pain set in. I prayed for God to take me too if it was his will as I couldn't understand why this had happened to us. As I lay there on the ground and realized that I was bleeding real bad on my hand from cutting it when I got out of the car. I also had several broken ribs and a broken collar bone. I then tried to crawl up out of the ravine by using my one good leg and one good arm. I pulled myself about 15 feet from the car but couldn't go any farther. I listened to the frogs croaking and the other night sounds. Every once in a while I would hear a car coming and as it got closer I would yell "help, help"and of course they couldn't hear me. This happened several times during the night until day break when I heard a car stop, I heard a door open but didn't see anyone as I yell for help. I then heard the door slam shut and the car sped away. I thought oh no they didn't hear me. About an hour later help arrived and they came down to help me. I asked if they could cover up my family as they were both gone. I told them where I was hurt and that I knew that when they lifted me onto the gurney it was going to hurt. I yelled out in pain and then they carried me up to the ambulance. I asked them to call my father in law and let him know what had happened. They took me to the Smith Center Hospital, put my leg in a splint and sewed up the cuts on my hand, arm and leg. By then my father in law arrived and came in to see me. I cried and told him I was sorry for what had happened.

The doctors decided to send me to the hospital in Hays Kansas as they weren't equipped to operate on my leg. I was pretty well out of it from the morphine they put me on. After the long trip I was admitted to St Anthony hospital and taken into surgery to put a steel rod in the middle of my leg bone. They found that I had one lung collapsed so they could not put me under long enough to put a steel rod in and instead put in a steel pin through the bone just below my knee so they could put my leg in traction. So when I woke up there I was with this traction bar overhead with a rope through pulleys and weights holding my leg bone apart. The Doctor came in the next day and explained that they would gradually remove part of the weight letting the broken bone move together. After that was done the doctor said that the bone was lined up perfectly and that they decided not to put in the rod and just let it heal with me in traction. When they told me when the funeral was going to be, I asked to go but of course wasn't able to. I had said my goodbyes out there in that creek bed. They were buried in a casket together and later on, I put on their grave marker, Together in Birth, Together in Life, Together in Death, and Together in Eternity.

After two and half months in traction I was released from the Hospital and put in a body cast for another two and half months. I then walked on crutches and with a cane for sometime after that.

In Dec. of 1963 I met a girl that was a senior in high school and to my utter dismay, this beautiful girl said she would go out with me on New Years Eve. I knew on that first date that she was the reason God didn't answer my prayer to take me home out under that bridge. We dated that spring and were married in July. A lot of people told me it was too fast to consider marriage so soon but it was right and we were both madly in love. We had a son born in Osborne in 1965 and then moved to Washington State in 1966. We were blessed with a daughter in 1967 and have now been happily married for 45 years. She is my soul mate and my reason for living. I am now retired for the past three years and we try to visit back home when we can.

If you would like I too would like to know how things turned out for you.

Sincerely

Gerald




On July 21, 2009 Arlene sent me another letter telling me how her life turned out after what she had gone through in 1963 and here is a copy of that letter.

Dear Gerald;

First of all I want to thank you for responding to my letter and I apologize for taking my time getting a letter to you. It was very interesting to read how your accident happened and how easy it was to visualize it while I was reading it.

I am so glad I wrote that first letter. I was hesitant at first but yet deep down I thought it would be a good thing to know just what had happened to the young man that wrote to me when we were both going though the same thing. There was a reason for me going through the things I have kept all these years.

At that time we were living on a small farm right outside of Hays. We had a few cattle and just rented a pasture and a few other buildings. Irvin and I both came from the farm and this place came up for rent just before we were married. It was only 2 miles from Irvin's work.

Irvin was working at Plainsman Supply and Paul was working at a service station. Both of them had worked till 9:00 that Thursday night, August 22nd. After their work day, both of them went to the field to relieve my brothers of field work. My parents had left that morning to vacation in Colorado and of course the boys were going to make sure that everything would be done by the time they came home. Paul and Irvin were on their way home from the field, Paul was driving the pick-up and fell asleep, Irvin was sleeping already, they also hit a bridge and fell into the ravine but Paul was able to crawl to the highway for help. We lived 2 miles from where the accident happened so I saw the ambulance go to the accident site but it was about two hours before my brother -in-law came to get me. Little did I think at the time I saw the ambulance that it could be anybody that I knew.

Paul had a broken pelvis and lots of cuts but Irvin had a broken neck and died instantly. Paul was in the hospital till Sept. 23rd. We had no idea where my parents were staying or what they would be doing so it was Saturday noon before we were able to find them. A couple from Victoria accidentally saw them at a tourist spot in Colorado and could tell that they didn't know yet so they were the ones to tell them. They made it home yet Saturday evening. We buried Irvin on Monday morning but unlike you, I was fortunate enough to say my goodbyes. I think back now and wonder how I ever got through that but always come to the same conclusion, God never gives you more than you can handle, somehow you always have the strength to go on.

Irvin Jr. was 10 months old and I did take him to see his daddy before we laid him to rest. He did recognize him and said "Da Da". His was all to young to even know what happened, but we talk about it quite often. I tell them things we did in the short time we had together. Mark, my second son was born on Sept. 24th. Paul was dismissed from the hospital on the 23rd and I went in on the 24th. I lived with my parents for 6 months before I bought my home which is where I still live.

It was hard to be by myself but it was the best thing for the boys because we needed to be our own family. My dad was special and understood when I needed someone. He would take the boys with him and always had time for them. He even went to Boy Scout Camp with them. He taught them a lot and they learned what was the right thing to do.

My dad too was killed in an accident in 1985. He lived for 8 weeks following the accident and spent 6 of those weeks in Wichita. He had extensive internal injuries which just never healed. He was hit head on by another vehicle driven by a careless driver.

I never found the right person to spend the rest of my life with, there was a time when I really got close to a young man but there were a lot of differences and it just wasn't meant to be. Since then I have settled into single life and pretty much spoiled myself.

I stayed home with the boys till they started school. When Mark started kindergarten, I started working part time and was always home when they were. I was very fortunate in getting good jobs. My dad was an auctioneer so I did his bookwork for years and had several bookkeeping jobs before I started working for on CPA firm in the early 70's and in 1980 I went to a different CPA firm working as a accounting tech till 1987 when I took on a job with a family owned business which I still work for. I do all the accounting for the business. It gets to be pretty much sometimes as they have oilfield and environmental service trucks and pipe hauling road trucks. They own an oil company farm and several other entities. I am very fortunate though that I have my office at home and can work when I want to. Thanks to cell phones I can leave when I want too. I think it would be a lot easier to retire if I didn't like my job.

I have been blessed with six grandchildren, ranging from 16 years old to 22 years old. Three of them will be graduating from college in May of 2010. One will be graduating from junior college in 2010 and one of the will start college in August. The youngest will be a sophomore in high school. Two of the boys were very active in sports and went to Plainville High School so we did get to Osborne quite often. The 16 year old is still going Plainville, plays basketball and baseball, he plays football too, but that's not his favorite sport. I go to most all ballgames. Irvin Jr. lives in Plainville and it it is real easy for me to go to their games. Mark lives in Hesston, Kansas and as long as his two children were in high school it wasn't easy for me to make it to their activities, but I went when I could.

Another adjustment was when both of the boys left home a year apart. It didn't seem so bad when Irvin left to go to Vo-tech in Beloit but when Mark left the next year to go to Salina Vo-teck it was pretty empty here. I got used to it now I call them company.

Did you ever get to see Paul while he was at the hospital? Being in traction I don't know if you would have been able to get around. Paul does live in Salina since the late 60's. He did marry one of the nurse aid's that took care of him.

I have babbled on way to long about myself, I would like to know how long you were in the hospital? You might have been there yet when I went in on the 24th of Sept. I really didn't think of anything till after I had that baby, all my thank you cards and notes were put on the back burner so I wouldn't even have thought to ask about anybody else. What took you back to Washington? What kind of work were you doing before yo retired?

I work on the computer everyday, I never get caught up so most of the time I have the computer tied up with work related things. Do you have to get into a website to get into your blog? I have never explore going into a blog so am not sure how that works.

I hope you don't get bored reading this and if you want to write back feel free to do so. I would eventually get back to you, might not be right away but I would in time. Again thank you for writing.

Sincerely:

Arlene

I sent this letter to Arlene in July 23 of 2009

Dear Arlene:

It was nice to hear from you and I hope this talking about what happened to both of us doesn’t bring up bad memories for you. For me I had blocked some of the details out, so I could go on with my life. All the memories were still there, but I had to shut out some of what happened. Its funny a while back by wife asked me when Valerie’s birthday was and it took me aback as I could not remember the date. (she was only 10 months old when she passed which was the same age of your son) It was among some of the things I had stored in behind that door I had closed in my mind. I had to think a bit to recall. It was kind of like when you get that blue screen on your computer. When I read your first letter to me I had to think a bit to recall writing to you all those years ago, but it clearly came back.

As a time line my accident was on June 24, 1963 and I was in the hospital until around Sept 10. I was confined to one room so I didn’t see your brother when he was there. So I wasn’t there when you were there on Sept. 24. I remember that one of the candy strippers told me about you and your brother and that he was down the hall. It moved me to write to you and it is my hope that it helped you in some way.

I was in a body cast until around the third week of Nov. and walked with crutches and then a cane until the last of Dec. I went back to work around the middle of Jan. 1964.
I asked Janet for marriage on Feb. 22 and we were married on July 26, 1964.

I was born and raised in Osborne and moved to Washington state to be closer to my parents and seven siblings. Another reason we move to Washington was sometimes in small towns people can be cruel with gossip and pointing fingers which was upsetting to my new wife. She was born in Downs Kansas and although it was hard for her to leave her family it was the right thing to make the move.

I was a produce manager in a grocery store in Osborne and when I came out here I was only off a week as I was hired on a Friday and went to work on the next Monday. I was in management for Safeway stores for 40 years and retired in January 2006.

Isn’t it amazing all the things that happened that night that were the same. I fell asleep hit a bridge and landed across a ravine like your brother and husband did. My wife was asleep and your husband was asleep when it happened. My daughter was 10 months old and your son was 10 months old.

I started my blog this last spring and posted some of my memoirs that I have written about my memories of my growing up. There is a lot of family memories that you might not be interested in but I will send you the address to get into it. There is a more complete account of what all happened back then and I am still working on writing about my history up to now. If you have a Google account it may ask you to sign in or you may have to establish an account and it is free. The address is
http://geraldscorner.blogspot.com/

My email address is gea43@aol.com if you would like to email me. You could put in the subject line -- letter from Arlene -- so I would make sure to open it. Some days I get a lot of emails.

I was wondering how you were able to find my address?

It was great to read of your history and how things turned out for you. As you said God only gives us what we can handle even though we may not understand at the time. I remember as I lay there under that bridge and realized that God had answered my prayer that it wasn’t my time to go. I laid there making plans of how I was going to go on.

Sincerely

Gerald E Alflen

I received an Email from Arlene on Sept 8, 2009

I sure hope that you haven't given up on me by now. It has been very hectic with work. I started a letter several days after I received your last one but never got it finished so I thought before I do anything today I am going to send you a note at least. I have one more big audit to get through then I can start preparing for year end stuff and that doesn't sound like any fun. August was extremely busy with trying to get caught up and keeping the CPA's happy. I did manage getting caught up working week-ends and evenings, but here and there I did socialize too. If an opportunity comes up where I can go someplace, I go.

We are finally getting a little moisture, at least it is measurable. We have had showers here and there but it is pretty dry. Fortunately we haven't had much summer. August was extremely cool but at least we could have the fresh air instead of the air conditioning. I have taken the sweatshirts and coats out for the football games already.

It was kind of interesting how I found you. I think I already told you that this spring and summer I remodeled my house and along with that I did some cleaning out. I came across your note that you wrote to me while you were still at St. Anthony's Hospital after your accident. My boys don't want to look at anything that I have saved so I shared your note with a friend of mine and of course she asked me if I had ever heard from you or tried to get in touch with you and I said no. Well one day she was at the library with one of her granddaughters and she asked about getting into newspaper articles in 1963. They showed her how to get that and she just found a lot of stuff including an article about your accident. She also found articles about her family so she had a hayday. She printed off the article but could never find when you were dismissed from the hospital or anything more. It was kind of like a dead end. At that point the computer came in pretty handy. PeopleFinder.com was the website where we found three different Gerald Alflen's. There was a Gerald D. Alflen from Grand Rapid's, Michigan and a Gerald E. Alflen from Auburn, Washington, but his age didn't seem to be right so I tried the Gerald E. Alflen in Puyallup, Washington first and that was the right one. It took me several weeks before I finally decided to write and was so surprised to hear from you right away that I still am in awe about the whole thing. I just never thought that I would find this person and on my first try I found the right one. I sure am glad I wrote that first letter. I was so glad when you responded that I read that first letter several times before writing and still finding it hard to believe that it was so easy. I have really enjoyed hearing from you. It doesn't bother me to talk about how Irvin was killed in the accident. I think it makes it easier to go on, and from day one I always said "That's the way it was suppose to be" and that has gotten me through it all.

I went into your blog and found that so interesting. It was funny to ready about some of the things you did when you were growing up. Makes me want to start writing about things that I remember. All I can say is that my son's and daughter-in-laws are going to find a lot of stuff one of these days.

The football season has started and Plainville played Smith Center last Friday. Smith Center had won 67 games in a row so we knew that there would be one chance in a million of us even getting a touchdown. Well they made it 68 in a row and it wasn't pretty, Plainville lost 59 to 0. I am hoping that the season gets better after that game. This week Plainville will play Osborne at home. Don't know what kind of team Osborne has but I hope we will see more of a game and not a run away.

I will be e-mailing this which is a lot easier so if you want to respond by e-mail it would be o.k. with me.

Duty has called with the phone ringing so I guess I had better get started on my work.

It was great hearing from you way back in July.

Have A Great Day

Arlene


When one goes through a life changing event such as we both have one often wonders how a person could have ever made it through. God has been the answer to how one can live with such a tragedy in your life. I think that there has never been a day that you don't have a thought about it but you still have to live day by day.